Memories
four months without is is way to long it don't even seem possible. i still see your beautiful face smiling at me like it was yesterday. lately i put on this face to show people i am ok but it is a mask.i hide my hurt and my pain everyday. everything makes me wanna cry. my doctor says im depressed which i already knew. how could i not be i lost you. if i could have one wish in the whole world i would wish you back here with me. i miss you so much lex. i finally got the cemetery done and it is so beautiful.you would love your veiw of the lake.it kills me having to go there and see your name on the stone knowing your not coming back and there is nothing i can do to bring you back. i guess seeing your name on the stone brought it all into reality for me. i guess i have been going on these last few months hoping and praying it wasn't true. i wish i could have you back to see your face and hear your laugh. to hug you and hold on to you and never let you go. i'm gonna go for now babygirl. just know there isn't a single minute or a single day i don't think about you and miss you. always in my heart and on my mind. loving and missing you always and forever babygirl.
love always and forever,
mom
i can't believe it has been a 2 months scecne i saw your beautiful face or herd your laugh or felt your hug. i miss hearing you say i love you mom. i remember the first time i seen your beautiful face. i remember your first smile,laugh,crawl,walk. i remember everything about you and i always will. gosh lex i miss you so much. one day i will see you and beable to give you a great big hug and tell you how much i missed you and love you. i am so proud of all the things you accompleshed. you made your momma so proud of you. you are an amazing, speical, young lady. very smart and funny and the most beautiful girl in the world. you had many talents i guess at first i didn't want to believe you were gone forever just on vacation like when you went to georgia but i'm starting to relize your not coming back and it is getting harder to bare. i haven't been doing to good these last few months. i fear it is gonna get worse knowing this is all real and your not coming back. please give me the strenght to be strong for ryan and mckenzie. thet miss you as much as i do. i have started a grief support group online because it is easier then going somewhere and being right in front of people talking about my feelings. hopefully they will give me courage to actually go to group meetings. the day's seem like they just keep getting harder and harder. i will forever miss you my beautiful girl. i know your spirtlives with in me and that brings me some peace. just want you to know that there isn't a single second of a singel day that goes by that i don't think about you and miss you. always and forever loving and missing you babygirl.
Hello Baby Girl, just writing to say happy memorial day and i wish so much you were here to spend the day with us. i really miss you lexie lynn. my day's and night's just aren't the same without you. i'm sitting here listening to your play list on the computer and thinking about you. we went to uncle jim's and aunt mary's yesterday for a cookout and we all missed you and wish you could have been there. you would have a ball with all your cousins.nat got me on the trampoline cause she was scared so i got on with her. we all miss you so much. well i better get goning i have nat today cause ashley is working and i took her to the parade with us. i love you sweetie and miss you so much. loving and missing you always and forever. ~mom~
well i woke up this morning missing you again just like everyday. i know i haven't wrote to you in a few days and i'm sorry for that,we didn't have internet for a few days. i'm gonna try and add this site to my phone so i can write to you. gosh lex i miss you so much it hurt's inside. everyone said i'm mad at the world but why wouldn't i be? god took my beautiful girl from me. i'm really trying to be ok,sometimes i'm ok other times i'm just so sad and mad. i'm mainly mad when i'm alone. when your brother and sister go to school is when i get lonely, sad,and mad and want to scream at the world. this is the hardest thing in the world. my grief is so all over the place. i go from sad to mad to sad to hurt. well i went to the spring concert at school and the band played a song for you and it was so nice. i cried like always. i just sat there thinking you should be up there playing with them. then the high school chours were singing and the song they sang just hit me hard i lost it started shaking and had to get up and leave. i know people look at me like i should be moving forward like they are but i just can't. it hurt's to see how some people can just move on so fast when they claim to love and miss you so much. i just don't understand. maybe it's me i duno but this process that's time and for me maybe it will be years before i'm ready to move fully move on. i will always think about you and miss you. you will always be in my heart and on my mind.i will forever miss you pretty girl. i need to find something to do during the day while ur brother and sister are at school instead of sitting around all day. well baby girl i'm gonna go for now. i love and miss you always and forever, mom
the days keep getting harder and harder. everyone says it will get easier but it don't it get's harder each and everyday. i miss your smile so much. i miss hearing you say mommy. i miss our rides together just you and me. i miss you jamming out in the car. i miss you telling me you love me. i miss everything lex. it get's so hard when i lay down at night to go to sleep. i haven't been sleeping much these days. i feel so exhaused. i do try to sleep but when i fall asleep i wake up a million times. there is a huge hole in my heart that will never heal. it is still so hard to believe you are really gone and your not coming back. i guess i'm still trying to process it. i hurt every minute of every day. i still look for your face in the crowd when i go to your school. i remember how your friends always told you,you look just like me. you do except our eye color and you have your dad's chin. i miss my daughter so much it hurts so bad. i know your shinning down on me from heaven. they say i'll be ok but i'll never get over you babygirl. you will forever be in my heart and on my mind. i herd this song grandma's been playing it's called get your shine on by florida georgia line i know you would like it. it makes me think of you. they have alota good songs you would like. i guess i better go for now. loving and missing you always sweetie. ~mommy~
Total Memories: 15
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